For my wife, it is mostly about sleeping, although your #1 is also on the list. She never sleeps well while camping, whether car-camping or in the backcountry. I have been escalating the pad situation, but have not reached the solution yet. The other thing is that she does not have the same apprreciation of the outdoors that I do. She likes it, but she is a fair-weather outdoors person, where I feel that any day is a good day to be out, and any weather is good weather to be out in.
I have learned a lot in the process of encouraging her to go with me, and here are some ideas for the other guys who have reuctant ladies, in terms of solutions to your numbered list:

1) too dirty (I wash every day and stay quite clean)
You can get sunshower type rigs now that are under a pound

2) too cold (solved by the proper clothes and sleeping bag)
Important not just to get her the right clothes, but teach (gently) when to wear what

3) cooking is hard (well, fellows, you do the cooking if that's the problem)
Guys, you have to not only do the cooking, but the cleanup as well, and bring some treats

4) "bathroom" chores (I prefer the woods - can pee anytime I want and do not have to wait in line!)
Sympathy here is all I can recommend

5) boring (not if you plan enough time to explore, bring a good book or have an entertaining backpack partner)
This one has never been a problem for me

6) hard (women who spend 2 hours a day at the gym still say this)
Carry most of the weight, guys, and plan a trip that is easy but way scenic

7) too scarey (those of us who grew up running in the woods as kids do not feel this way)
If certain things are scary for her, do not just say it will all be fine. Deal with it - for instance, If she feels safer in a tent, then you bring a tent even though you may not want a tent. If she's afraid of getting lost, prove to her how effectively you can navigate, or get a GPS even though you don't feel you need it.

8) like to look nice (nothing says you cannot have stylish backpack clothes)
The Title Nine catalog can take care of this

9) no shopping malls (well, yes, that is true)
There's no help for this one

10) too wet, lousy weather (a lot of areas have delightful weather)
If you can be flexible in your scheduling you can avoid the lousy weather and go when it's good. If not, then plan for it with extra entertainment for in the tent, and something like an extra tarp so you can get out of the tent and breathe a little without actually being in the rain.

11) bugs (I get more bugs in my garden)
Bugs are mostly seasonal and location specific, and can be avoided. I hate' em myself!

12) dangerous (yet they drive - a more dangerous activity)
If you are really competent and make a point of watching out for her safety you can make her feel a lot more comfortable.

I should point out that this is really a list of how to introduce anyone to the outdoors and encourage them to like it - it doesn't apply just to women. The basic attitude that you are paying attention to the other person's concerns and trying to do something to alleviate them is really what it's all about.