WD, being of a "wierd" body shape myself (tall and lanky), I have to agree with finallyME here and refer you back to the thread where you and I went back and forth on McHale packs (which is probably why you made the "I would rather not pay $500" for it comment). I'm not saying you have to buy a McHale, but I would gather that your needs and wants will only be filled by a custom pack. Just think of it as an investment as you seem to get out a good bit. I know my pack was expensive, but I would pay that much again in a nano second for the comfort I now have. Plus, you can get all the features you desire. And like I said in that previous thread, if you look at McHale packs check out the Popcan. It is exactly what you are looking for as far as being able to carry a bear can horizontally.