my worries run mostly towards ticks ( a insect that, frankly- it's hard to feel all that warm n fuzzy towards). and to an lesser extent, scorpions when in the southern climes. I done some reading about washing tyvek to decrease the material's tendency to be noisy. the article suggest that it does absorb water, when agitated, as in a washing machine.( no mention about doing so with insults and bad jokes) it seems to take some time to dry after washing which suggested that it reluctantly, absorbs.