Tongue in cheek, of course.

I debated where to put this but expect that the thread will be more constructive (I hope) for the newbie (or the restarting newbie) than it will be a trip report, tho it is also a trip report.

I took "Haven't been backpacking since I was 20" guy on his inaugural 50+ years old going on an overnight trip backpack. I got my Granite Gear Nimbus Ozone adjusted to fit him and loaned him everything else, except a Neoair which we borrowed from someone else. We also took a blue CCF as he was already identified as Mr. Freezemeister aka "I'm cold before everyone else everywhere."

I deliberately made the load as light as I could possibly make it, knowing how the older male on a backpacking trip after 30+ years can get. I plotted the trail to be both short and lacking in any hills, only small incremental rises that gradually took us up that 60 feet of cumulative gain. I chose the Flat Frog trail at Henry Coe out to Frog Lake (picture a mudhole of a stock pond surrounded by oaks full of wild doves). It was a whole three excruciating miles of hiking.

He was loaded down with a tarptent, a full length NeoAir and one of my 22 oz down quilts, which has gotten me to the mid 20s repeatedly over the past few years. To that he added a ton of snack bars (I didn't realize how many he'd squirreled in that pack), four bottles of water, and a six pound jacket that I later found out had about two pounds of junk in the pockets. Fortunately some of that was a jar of ibuprofen.

I, on the other hand, carried the three pound tent, my alcohol stove and liter titanium pot, the other quilt, my NeoAir, my clothes, and a good bit of food - probably six pounds, enough to keep me going for five days.

I had planned a second night but gave him the option to go back the next day if he wanted. Was a good option to have.

It's unusually cold in Henry Coe right now, and it got dark before 5 pm. I forgot the sheet of thick foil I usually put under the stove. It took too long to boil water - until I mumbled something about forgetting my sheet of foil, at which point he produced a wad of foil from his bag of paper towels (!) and we eliminated the "cold ground heat sink" problem. We had hot tea, chili over rice (homemade and rehydrated) and a variety of snacks to stoke the fires before turning in. I lay there listening to him toss, turn and groan about being COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD.... I was a little chilled, but not cold. Getting up for a pee and coming back, I found myself plenty warm - should have taken a walk before bed anyway.

And so the night passed, as I slumbered 15 to 30 minutes at a time, until he began to thrash and wail about being cold. I kept instructing him how to tuck in the quilt - until I found out he was wearing the six pound jacket and trying to use the quilt, which was far too bulky for anyone's good, and if it had been worth its weight it would have sufficed and he could have used the quilt as an elephant's foot instead of trying to drape it over him. No way in hades can you tuck a Jacks R Better normal size quilt over a jacket like that. It's one of those synthetic 200-pockets type of things you find in the hunting gear.

In the morning, to add insult to injury, I found out that he had actually wetted out the down in two of the baffles of the quilt. All the while he's complaining about cold, he's sweating copiously and also purposely breathing down into the quilt to warm it up! It didn't occur to me to tell anyone not to hot box themselves that way.

The interior of the tarptent was soaked. My tent? bone dry. There wasn't any dew, we were camped on packed dirt, and when I picked up my tent, even the underside was barely damp. I didn't even bother to stake out the back of the fly on my tent and I had no condensation. This was the driest night I've had this year - the ground was dry, the air was cold. The tarptent was much more ventilated than my tent, and it was still wet all over inside. He even managed to not get the door of the vestibule completely untied - part of the side of the Sublite Sil was gapped and the cold breeze sweeping into the tent.

As for the actual hiking... within the first mile he was showing the signs of being tired, slowing down, leaning on the poles a lot. In three miles he was exhausted. Setting up camp he was fumble-fingered and slow, impatient with the gear, not wanting to walk to the pond for water, not wanting to do anything. After a rest he did walk with me to filter water and struggled up the short hill back to camp. He started to complain about the cold at dinner and didn't stop until we were back in the car the following day, after it warmed up enough to have heat. He had thick insulated ski gloves, a coat he said he used to shovel snow in the midwest in, a fleece hat, a synthetic base layer, two shirts, and two pairs of socks - and a quilt that works for most people into the high 20s and for others, lower.

Day temps were in the 50s, by the way. It was probably in the low 40s - high 30s around 6 - 7 pm. I'd estimate we had about 30F at the coldest, and it got colder in the creek bottoms, as there was no ice on the pond but the creek (series of puddles) had ice in it.

On the way back we took a shorter route that, while initially steeper, let us get back to the car with half the hiking distance. I tore apart my Aarn pack and fitted it to him (this is a great pack to have when working with noobs), and stuffed most of the gear and weight into the Nimbus Ozone (this is also a great pack when working with noobs), which swallowed all of it and had more room to go. By the end of the first mile he was asking where to get an Aarn pack. The Ozone put too much weight on his pelvis and the Aarn (if you are unfamiliar with body packs ala Aarn they are worth a google) balanced the load on his body so he could stay upright. Hiking with the Ozone, he fell over after bumping into a tree limb because he was so tired and off balance. I think if he had not lightened up and used the Aarn I would have had to come back to get the second pack.

I throw this out for general discussion with the following guesses:

I took someone who hasn't backpacked, and hasn't been very physically active other than kayacking once or twice a month. He is also diabetic. These two factors probably weighed in very heavily in seeing him become chilled and staying cold, and being unable to recognize how much he was sweating - he can complain of cold and yet, touching his skin, I think he is radiating more heat than I am - I feel cold by comparison. Health issues must have something to do with the issues with condensation.

The pack MUST FIT. MUST fit. Must FIT. And, it must carry the weight on your frame in a way that is comfortable for YOU. Asking what brand of pack to get is like asking what clothes you want or what you want for dinner - it is determined by what works for you specifically, and no one else. I have always found the Ozone comfortable as have a number of others I've put it on - it nearly killed my friend with 25 lbs in it, despite fitting him well.

Even a light pack that fits doesn't always offset the total noobness. He did fine on 8 mile day hikes with the hiking group. He felt he was ready for a backpack. He complained of being unable to get his legs to work faster and really felt it in his thighs. This type of work is very different than what you'll have at the gym. Our SAR team works up and down stadium steps with a 20 lb pack on to build the legs for endurance on the trail.

The older you are, the more difficult it can be to start backpacking. And the more important a comfortable pack (and comfortable pack weight) becomes to your safety. Had he tried this by himself his exhaustion would have made setting up camp too hard. I had to do most of the work. While he didn't experience an altering of personality, he was definitely not quite up to par, and a bit slow to think.

Tomorrow it's time to launder both my quilts - it's been a good long while and it's time. Plus, he wet out my down!!! Yikes. And if he decides to try again, I may help him find a better backpacking jacket... that thing he had was pretty bulky and not at all compressible. It had to ride draped over the pack and the second day, it rode on my pack. I could feel it sliding - it actually took me off balance!