On that 9-day trip my pack weighed 38 pounds starting (with water). This is not my normal weight (I usually start at 30 pounds for a 9-day trip). When I do a trip with my husband, I carry most of the food, gas and cook gear and he carries the tent. He has a huge Gregory pack and prefers our 6-pound 2-man tent. He loosly stuffs everything in his pack so it really looks huge. We have different backpack styles- he likes lots of creature comforts, very sturdy gear, gadgets, and camp activities like fishing vs all day hiking. When we do trips together it is mainly his trip, so I do what I can to facilitate his goals. His pack without any group gear is already heavier than mine, even if I carry all the group gear. He certainly is willing to carry more, but it slows us down and it simply is more efficient for me to load up, as long as I am physically able to do so. I still use my old Kelty external frame pack when I have to carry a heavy load- so I look pretty old school!