I'm in Balzacom's camp on this.

The one time I bent stays on my pack, a little bit of very approximate bending helped quite a bit. Bend, try, and bend again if necessary. It's really not that big a deal.

While you have the stays out of the pack, I would suggest boring about a 3/16 - 1/4 inch hole at each end. This makes the stays more usable for potential emergency applications (splint, etc.). And since this a light backpacking forum, I must point out that drilling the holes makes the pack lighter.....