Emotional healing is an excellent point, mns. Although I am not a licensed therapist, I think I can give a few useful pointers on this.

In the midst of traumas or crises we are confronted with heavy, but conflicting, demands. Such events not only arrouse a massive emotional response, but they generally require us to suppress those emotions in order to deal with the situation as calmly, crisply and effectively as we know how.

Later, when the need for direct, immediate action has subsided, we still carry those suppressed emotions, but now there's no obvious time, place or way to express them. The event they are connected to appears to be over. We desperately hope it is behind us forever. No one in their right mind will happily dredge up those buried emotions and consequently relive the trauma that caused them.

But, to heal from them, that is exactly what you need to do.

In my experience, if you are really going to do that, you need a few elements in place. You need to set aside a time (an hour or two) when you are free of immediate responsibilities. You need to be with someone you trust, who is willing to watch you crumble with grief or explode with rage, and understand this is not a problem, but a solution. Lastly, you need the courage to revisit your trauma as completely as you can and to allow your facade of being "OK" to drop.

At the end of your allotted time, you need to reconnect with ordinary life, recall that what you have been undergoing really is in the past, and reemerge into the normal events of the day as fully as possible.

You may need to do this many times to get through it, especially for very old traumas, or very big ones.

Pika, as someone who is also a long term caregiver (just entering my 25th year of it!), I recognize this is going to be extremely difficult to pull off, but it's a lot better and more effective than just letting a mountain of suppressed feelings pile up. You are no doubt strong enough to put this off for years, if need be, but I swear to you, you'll be a happier man if you do some ongoing maintenance, even in the midst of your many duties.

Hang in there!