If you're feeding a group typically, in above freezing weather the pocket rocket is an excellent choice, The other good ones (that are very similar) are the snow peak gigapower, and the optimus crux.. Pick whichever strikes your fancy - (the snow peak and optimus are a little smaller than the pocket rocket) canister stoves are nice and relatively uncomplicated. I own
a snow peak stove and would take that myself in the scenario you describe, at least until I felt like teaching the kids to make their own alcohol stoves and carry/cook for themselves.

If you hate mummy bags look back in the archives (use the search function) for quilt info - buy or make one. Look at
Jack's R better or nunatuk for people who make good ones if you don't want to sew your own.

pad? really depends on you, and what you need to sleep comfortably. I'm uncomfortable in anything but a hammock or a thick inflatable (like a big agnes pad, or the new fancy thermarests) but I have freinds who sleep like a log on just blue foam. take the lightest thing you can take and still be comfortable.