<img src="/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> In Miami, I've had trouble getting ready for hiking at altitude, since the only hill here is the Rickenbacker Causeway, about 80 feet above sea level. I've walked it, run it, and trudged up and down repeatedly with a 40-pound pack. It's just not the same thing with all that oxygen coming in off the Atlantic.

A hiking buddy of mine ordered an Altitude Acclimator from that new Home Shopping Sportsgear Superstore Network -- channel 200-something on cable, and for $19.95 (plus shipping), he appears to have bought on a liquidation, a plastic bag that the sellers must have bought in bulk from some sex-toy manufacturer that went out of business due to the recession -- or because they lost their customer base to asphyxiation. The plastic bag -- made in China, of course -- had a stick-on label with the word "Altitude Acclimator" on it, but with a fingernail and some peeling, underneath I found the original brand name, "Masochistic Stimulator."

I told him to throw that creepy thing away and I'd make us some Altitude Acclimators, which is why I probably should have put this in "Make Your Own Gear."

Just go to your local supermarket and get a proper-sized freezer bag. Most hikers-in-training on this forum can probably get by with the gallon bag. I, on the other hand, have a really fat head and can barely squeeze my noggin' into a Hefty OneZip Jumbo 2.5 Gallon bag. I probably should get one of those Space Bags -- the ones you put your entire wardrobe in and then suck the air out with a shop-vac, but I'm too embarrassed to admit it.


Inexpensive MYOG Altitude Acclimator.

Although oxygen is controlled with that cool, red "OneZip" thing -- and they've conveniently got the directions "<OPEN" and "CLOSED>" on the bag's zipper at the neck, I find it helpful to cut one-inch diameter holes in the bag, each equivalent to about a 1,000 feet of altitude. With the holes in mine, I'm now hiking Kilimanjaro (15K feet.)


Strategic placement of the white "contents" label can provide a needed sunvisor in tropical climes.

It's really been a great help while hiking the Rickenbacker. I'm breathing harder, I feel like I'm getting a free Swedish face-sauna (multi-use!), and other bridge walkers and bike riders give me a wide berth (since apparently some smash-&-grab bandits here are using the same modus operandi -- or at least attire).

In summation: [color:"red"] <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Everyone KNOWS this is a joke. DO NOT try this at home.[/color]