Hmmm... Scotty, I believe we have entered a time warp. Check to see if we still have a trail of Unobtanium particles so we can "breadcrumb" our way back.

Bet I could look in one of my original Backpacker magazines (I have #s 1 thru 55 and then many more non-consecutive issues) and find a Jensen advertisement.
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"There are no comfortable backpacks. Some are just less uncomfortable than others."