" If my tent failed, I could die of hypothermia."

Yeah you could die in the woods. Lotza danger.

Closest I've come to hypothermia was in a 1983 April snow storm in my cheapy puptent. This was due to unbelievable condensation and melting snow. It was nearly ten years before I went back to using down sleeping bags in the off season.

I wouldn't recommend a cheap coated puptent as anything but a "2 1/2 season" shelter.

"Every cheap tent I've ever wasted my money on has lasted one miserable season, and usually failed catastrophically at a very bad time involving lots of wind and rain."

Gee, sorry to hear that. I wore the floor out on mine after ten years of fairly hard use in highly variable conditions. I agree that most cheap tents are junk. But not all.

So if I like them so much, why don't I have one now?

I use mostly tarp shelters, or tarp tents, or whatever the term is.... Mine are much larger and lighter. and more versatile as 4-season shelters. They don't have a floor, so that scene in April can't be repeated.. The condensation and snow-melt just drain into the snowpack or into the dirt, rather than getting trapped inside the tent and underneath my sleeping bag, which is, in anycase protected by a cover with waterproof bottom. I've been foolish enough to spend about $600 --- Gawd! more! on four of them. It's a sickness....

Also, Wal-Mart tents do lack, shall we say.. a certain je ne sai quois???

However, I do miss the insect netting and all I've got along those lines, presently, is a miserable little worn-out one-person tent made from a very poor immitation of Goretex. It cost $180 in 1990, and given a choice at bedtime between it and a $20 Wenzel Starlight, I've no doubt which I'd choose.