1. How hard is it to sleep on the trail? Obviously this is different for everyone, but does the cold or wet or noise keep a lot of people from sleeping well? Does anyone use earplugs at night? Obviously this would present a SAFETY issue... one might want to HEAR what is going on around you at night, BUT a few nights of poor sleep leading to exhaustion ALSO present a safety issue! What is your experience?

Don't use ear plugs. Biggest issue for me has been experimenting over the years to find a comfortable setup. At this point, I am pretty comfortable and sleep almost as well as in my own bed at home--small pillow with clothes bag or something else under it to raise level to simulate two pillows I use at home, Big Agnes insulated air core air mattress, good bag (montbell super stretch is my bag of choice lately) and make sure tent or shelter is keeping you dry and sheltered from the mosquitoes and noseeum's.

2. After eliminating bodily wastes, how do you get clean? I mean, if one is not showering daily, things could get really UNCOMFORTABLE down there... dare I use the word "itchy." Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about; toilet paper does not get one as clean as soap and water if you know what I mean. And your hands... what is the best way to really clean them after the business end is done?

I do one thing that most others didn't seem to mention. I bring toilet paper and also a small tube of moisturizing lotion. A dab on the tp once I'm almost finished enables me to get further down and therefore more clean and also leaves a comfortable residue of the lotion. I also clean my hands with sanitizing lotion at the end of the process.

3. What happens when your gear gets wet? Say one is on a longer hike, walking for a couple of days in heavy rain, setting up camp, packing up, unfortunate little leaks in the tent or bag... I can imagine everything getting pretty much SOAKED. What do you do besides start to lose your mind or walk off the trail?
Not necessarily ultra lite, but I generally keep one change of pants, underwear and socks that I try to keep dry and switch to in camp or at night if I'm really wet and cold. In addition, as most here would be, I'm wearing synthetics that dry pretty quickly from the heat of your body if you're not out in the rain, so once I'm in camp, my pants, t shirt etc will dry over a couple of hours, depending on the air temp. Occasionally on long paddling trips, we've taken a layover day to dry out and dry clothes next to the fire or hung out in the sun if the weather cooperates.

4. I met a throughhiker on the AT (in MA - Beartown State Park area) in August while I was on a dayhike. He was clean shaven! I know beards aren't mandatory, but I wondered if he shaved regularly and if so, what water he used. I didnt think to ask him... we chatted about the usual things.

I normally wear a beard and don't bother to shave the small areas that I do trim when at home.

5. Do you "bathe" in streams, ponds, or lakes? Obviously, traditional soap is frowned upon because of its environmental aspect. What do you use? Do you worry about being interrupted while trying to get clean?

If weather is warm enough, then I like to swim. If too cold, then a hand bath with a wet bandanna can work. If feet have gotten very dirty and/or sweaty, then I'll rinse them in whatever body of water is nearby, dry them off in the sun or with a small camp towel, and then put shoes and socks back on. I generally only use soap on my hands when they get dirty and wash and rinse away from any body of water. I tend to use mainly water to clean the rest of me, and generally feel I can get pretty clean and comfortable.
May switch from dirty/wet pair of socks to clean, dry pair while in camp and will also wash one pair of socks on a long trip just by rinsing in water and squeezing out and drying. Will also sometimes try to dry socks and underpants inside my sleeping bag at night.

Gerry Magnes
Schenectady, NY