You listed all your perceived negatives to do with pyramid tents and they are valid points but every tent is a compromise one way or another.
In fact people that are strongly attracted to a particular design tend not to see why others don't like the same, for example some think that if a tent is not freestanding is not worth having whilst others immediately think "freestanding=heavy".
Don't get me wrong, I pretty much see it the way you do, yet the pyramid is one of the most popular designs and not only with the DIY crowd.
One shape that is easy to make but can have a smaller footprint and no pole/s in the middle is the A frame type, maybe that will do for you.