Heather said, "First 10 years the contract was I would freak if he was gone longer than overnight."

you did say that didn't you Heather?
Doesn't this imply that during the first ten years it would have been a problem for you if he left to hike for 5 months?
Isn't that what I was talking about - the guy hasn't had any time to establish either trust nor a need for space?

Anyway as I see it, the women are mostly saying it would be no big deal to them if their (new) husband left for several months to do a major hike. I know women who are totally happy living alone and I certainly do not think any less of bachelorettes. I guess if you say so..., but I really don't believe it unless those women have carears with big pay checks they would not want to be left without support. To women who got married to have children, and get away from their parents home, and form a financial union, having a mate gone is a problem.

But anyway it obviously depends on the people involved and whether this is outside the envelope of their expectations. You can't say manup or woman up, everone is entitled to be different. I just don't think most people get married with the intention of being alone afterwards. Steadman said if you're being deployed, get married after one deployment, if she's still there..................... right

Jim