I think the core idea here (to answer the OP's question) is that the conversation has to be had with his spouse BEFORE making the commitment to go.
"Manning up" does not entail abandoning your love ones (abandoning being different than leaving behind). Abandoning family is the antithesis of manning up - and the "traditional" marriage vows.
If the OP's spouse can't handle the idea of him doing an optional deployment, than perhaps the AT isn't in the cards for now. If she can, then it might be. It depends on their ground rules - which he needs to go talk with her and set.
If long seperations are going to be part of the marriage, I'll share a Marine MSGT's very good advice to me about marriage - do a deployment first, then get married, not the other way around.
Steadman
This isn't going to be a regular thing. My vocation simply won't allow it. Nor am I going to abandon her or break up with her over this. I'll choose her over the dream, because in every other way she is a perfect fit for me. And I have a feeling that, someday, either she will come along with me or else she will be good with me going on that once-in-a-lifetime trip.
I had a brief window of opportunity for this coming summer. But I'm just not to the point in our relationship where I'm ready to go away for several months.
So that's why I asked. It would appear that those who go and do longer trips have mostly all been in that particular relationship for quite a while, and it has grown to the point where the separation isn't as big of a deal as it would have been at another point in time.
I can foresee a time when I get to do this along side kids or spouse. I'm good with waiting that long. I can consider all my hiking between now and then to be getting prepared for the Big One, so that when that opportunity does arise I'm ready and able.
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