I have been the one leaving, and the one left. It definitely is easier before and after you have children.

My first husband and I worked separate NOLS courses for several years, before children, and it really was no problem for us. Each of us was qualifed to be a course leader which meant we made lots more if we worked separately. Neither of us wanted to take a "demotion" to work as a lower level staff just in order to be together.

Then we had a child. He left for Alaska for three months. I stayed home. It was tolerable, but not great. Problem was that we both were scheduled for the climb of Denali and set up of the new Alaska branch, so not only was I alone I felt I bore the brunt of us deciding to have a child because I had to forgo a real goal of mine, and he did not.

Then a year later, we were broke again, and the best option for making money was for us both to be course leaders on separate NOLS courses. My mom kept our daughter. I missed my baby more than my husband!

You will note "ex-husband". However, we did not divorce because of these times apart. Each time we were apart we really agreed to it. That is the key. Had I known what parenting a baby was all about, I probably would have not agreed for him to go to Alaska for three months. But a deal is a deal, and I was not blaming him because it was more of a job than I had expected.

Our "apartness" was always due to needing a job to make a living. I think that is easier to understand then someones desire to be gone just for recreation.

Scroll forward 30 years. My current husband knew very well when we met that I would be gone to the mountains for long periods. Three years ago I left for 2 months to backpack in the Wind Rivers. Two years ago I did Roper's High Route for 35 days and he joined me on one 10-day strech. This summer I am going to Wyoming again for at least 40-50 days, alone. He has a lot of interests and activities and work he enjoys. His sons and grandkids are closeby. I also do a lot of 2-week trips to visit my aging mother and grandkids in Colorado. For me, being apart is a LOT easier when you get older. I at least, am not as "needy" as I was at 20 years old.

With today's technology, unlike in the past when being out in the mountains really meant no communication for a month, now you can send text messages and even write a journal while on a trip. Since you will be resupplying, why not have her join you on a few stretches. Yes, it will slow you down, but in the big picture is it that critical?

I think you need to both really agree on it. Then, when it is her turn, for whatever she wants to do, you have to "give back" that freedom that she gave you.

Just do it before you have kid! Or stay in shape and do it when you are old.