I am looking at this thread a couple of weeks late but will give a suggestion at the other "end" of the spectrum. And I'll try to keep the puns at a minimum.

Some time back I had lower intestinal problems and among other things (surgical, painful things) my doctor recommended a daily dose of powdered fiber. He said that Americans just don't get enough fiber in their diets and he recommends this to all patients, young and old.

So to make a long story short, after some experimentation to discover the "right" dose for me, it is 1 teaspoon in a glass of water in the morning and a second in the afternoon when I come home thirsty after work.

What I have noticed from this and my point is, my bowel movements are relaxed and easy because the stool is very soft but at the same time it is not wet or sticky. I only use one square of paper because there's just nothing left behind to "wipe" away. More out of habit than anything else. It is very clean.

So there's more than you need to know, sorry for that. But you could try it for a week at home to see what works for you. It takes a couple of days for your system to get used to it and settle down.

A little bit of very judicious shaving may help also.

Andy