Potty talk:

Don't drink the yellow snow (or any other discolored snow, for that matter.)

If you're going to use natural TP alternatives, be absolutely sure you can unfailingly identify poison ivy.

Other stuff:

Never cook anything that takes more than one pot.
If you violate this rule, make sure somebody else carries the extra pot.

Never start a rock collection in your own pack.

Remember that there's no such thing as bad weather, just different kinds of good weather.

Flashlight batteries never need changed during the day.

I don't care what your compass or GPS says. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Every day.

Don't throw rocks at skunks. Or try to chase them away, for that matter.

You're not lost, just temporarily misplaced. ("Me not lost - trail lost.") Sit down, eat a granola bar, take a drink of water, and shake off the panic. Then figure it out.

Wherever you go, there you are.