So being without a significant other I decided to try online dating. And I got a date! As it’s been a while I decided to read up on how to make a good first impression. One tip that really struck a cord was to ask her questions so she could talk about herself. So we meet at a local trendy coffee shop. She gets a table as I walk to the counter to get the coffees. As I sit down I try my well prepared line. “So what the heck is wrong with you?”

I think there might not be a second date.

I got a second date!

I went to pick her up at her home. As we were walking to my car, she asked. “Do men still open car doors?” I replied, “How do you think we get inside?”

You do realize that, on one of these dates, you're going to end up in someone's freezer, right?

The second date went really well. We gave each other pet names. I call her “sweetie” and she calls me “ you’re still here?”

I think the problem started when I didn't know her favorite type of flower, but I was so sure it was self-rising.