It is a good writing prompt, something I've been needing to articulate.

My life fell apart in 2015: turns out I had misinterpreted the 20 years of my life before that. My spouse stated that she had never wanted to marry me and just followed through because it was expected of her. Our two decade marriage had been a source of suffering for her and she was excited to see it end.

Within 18 months I was able to balance my life, outwardly anyway. Moved to a city I had loved for decades. My kids moved up with me. I hiked. I was active. I also found loneliness unbearable and dealt with it through drinking heavily. My other goals were hampered by this reliance.

Prior to the epidemic being on the front pages I had already decided that my next step of growth was learning to be alone without alcohol or the bar scene. I decided to abstain for nine months. I set up a workout routine beyond hiking. I began to build upon my meditation practice.

The pandemic, however, both forced me to a greater isolation and also reinforced my positive practices in a way I could not have imagined. Sure, I still live a lonely existence, but, if I may use a metaphor, it is a chronic pain that I have learned to live with in a healthy way. I experience pain; I am no longer suffering, at least not to the same extent.

I am currently training for a lightweight through hike of the Superior Hiking Trail in September.

So, yeah, 2020 has been a challenge, my kids are stir-crazy, but I feel centered and prepared for whatever 2021 may send our way.