Looking at your original post and the questions you asked in it, I think the basic answers to your questions have been given. You relied heavily on backpacking gear review sites, took their advice, found it did not suit your needs and desires, and then wondered why or how this could happen.

We have identified ways in which your gear is not typical of the 'average user' that the sites are aimed at. We identified what that average user is doing differently than you, which would not require as big a pack as your gear requires. You are confirmed in your reasons for wanting all the gear you wish to take, and therefore you will need a bigger pack to fit all of it.

My conclusion: forget the gear review sites, since they do not give you advice that fits your desires, take what you want to take, buy as big a pack as will hold all of it, and be happy with your choices. After all, it will be you who must hike the hike, not us, and not the gear reviewers.

There. That was simple.