Jeanne, try inflating mattresses fully then adjust them by lying on them and cracking the valve until they feel comfortable. You'd be surprised how well you can dial them in this way. I micro-manage mine, depending on what's underneath the tent and how my muscles feel. Have your friend try this, instead of just blowing one up and lying on it. Makes a world of difference. Side sleepers need a good pillow too, because your shoulder elevates you. I use the Sea to Summit Aeros, which is the best pillow I've ever had , bar none.