The Marine Gunnery Sgt noticed a new Marine Pvt. and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name Marine?" "John," the new Marine Pvt. replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching Marines in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the Gunny scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my Marines by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Gunny". Do I make myself clear?" "Aye, Aye Gunny!"

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?" The Marine Pvt. sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Gunny."

"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ..."