Just got back from a trip to Grayson Highlands that got cut short because a couple of us exceeded our limits. (Trails that weren't running water were sheet ice or snow-covered - only took 18 pictures over 2+ days because we were busy trying not to fall. Forded a couple of rushing knee-deep creeks, and got pounded by wind one night. After falling a couple of times, the other guys I was with and I decided discretion might be the better part of valor, and cut the trip short. However, it was nice to know that I do have at least a modicum of the mental resilience that was the topic of another thread.)

I didn't "enjoy" myself on this trip - the details of the hike took up all the time and attention. However, on the drive home, talking to the other member of our hiking group that's about the same age, job, etc. as me, I did manage to define what I want the rest of my backpacking life to look like - and that's something I've struggled with for the last couple of years.

I'm in my early 60's, still active in my profession, and have fairly significant demands on my time from family (not so much kids as elderly parents, and wanting to spend time with my wife doing things), employees, clients, and friends. These keep me from chasing after the skills and conditioning I need if I want to take really challenging trips. Those other demands are also making it increasingly harder to get 4 or 5 days off to go backpacking; if I can get away that long, I want to visit my grandkids or do something with my wife. I'm not complaining about those other demands; I willingly accept them and, for the most part, enjoy them, too.

But, in seeking a balance in my life, I've now concluded that what I want out of backpacking, over the next 20 or so years I might have left to participate, is not adventure. I want stress relief and, for want of a better word, "fun"; high adventure is not what I'm looking for just now. Backpacking will, for me, now be a recreational hobby rather than a chance to grow and change (and it has made me and my life different than it would have been otherwise.) I've come to peace with the fact that, for me, there will be no more trips to the AT (at least not mountain trips); they are beyond what I can keep myself in condition for. My trips will be easy hikes and pleasant camps in southern Ohio, southern Indiana, and south central Kentucky. Places like the Red River Gorge, Mammoth Cave, Zaleski, Hoosier NF, the Knobstone Trail, the Twin Valley Trail (Dayton, Ohio) and a variety of state parks that offer backpack camping give me a host of places to explore and relax.

There will continue to be a lot of interaction with new hikers, but I'll be more of a "basic training" instructor than a "tech school" resource. As I told my AT-thru-hiker friend as we hiked out Saturday, I see my job as helping people learn to be comfortable and competent enough in the woods to send them along to guys like him to become true backpacking fanatics. And, based on a quick overnight trip I did a few weeks ago with such a group, I find that I enjoy that role a lot.

After bailing on the trip, I thought I'd be very upset with myself, but I found that I've actually felt like a pressure was removed: I no longer feel the need to say "Yes" to a Big Trip. I now can take the trips I want to take, and the trips I can have fun with and relax along the way.

Come to think of it, that's not a bad lesson to learn from a busted trip.