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#136152 - 07/12/10 11:08 PM NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . .
kevonionia Offline
member

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 1322
Loc: Dallas, TX
. . . for your Sigg water bottle.

I hesitate as I post this, but if it saves one person from having to go through this ordeal, it was worth it.

(Note: I’ve been known for some odd posts on this forum, but what follows is an honest account of what transpired. My hiking companions J.J. and my wife Debbie are willing to sign affidavits verifying this story.)

A little background: We’ve just returned from a 3-day, 2-night backpack on the Buffalo Meadows loop trail in the Buffalo Peaks Wilderness, Pike Nat’l Forest of Colorado. (I’ve posted the hike in Trip Reports, BTW.)

Gorgeous hike. We camped the first night about seven miles in, amidst the trees on the edge of the Buffalo Meadows at about 10,600’, our two tents set up amidst the pines. About 4 a.m., an hour before first light, I awoke with a strong thirst and an even greater need to urinate.

Foregoing a headlamp, I crawled out of my bag and unzipped the Cloudburst II tent. I knew Debbie had brought her new liter Sigg aluminum water bottle into the tent, so I fumbled around until I believed I had grabbed it. I was still groggy, and in my stupor I held the bottle with my right hand and screwed off the top with my left. I put the opening to my lips and was shocked to feel something sticking up in the middle of the opening. Hmmm.

With two fingers I felt around and into the lip in the dark and there seemed to be a small plug about the size of a pencil eraser poking out of the opening. And then it hit me. This wasn’t her Sigg bottle; it was the can of bear spray she always keeps at her side in the tent. I felt around the lip again and found nothing squirting out. I was shocked – and relieved – that the contents of the can hadn’t shot out all over us and the tent when I screwed off the top/trigger.


"Shall we be having the Siggs or the UDAP?"

But the reason for waking up overcame me and setting it aside, I donned my camp-side Crocs and in only my underwear wandered off to find a pine trunk to pee on. Finished, I stumbled back to the tent. Licking my lip, I was curious as to what was causing a burning sensation on the left side of my mouth. As I zipped up the screen, I was surprised at the heat rising on that tender patch of skin. But as I crawled into my bag, any concern over my lip was overwhelmed by the sudden fire flaring up in my underwear.

As I lay there, it was as if someone had fired up a blowtorch and was putting the finishing touch on a dessert of crème brulee in my pants. I’m surprised I wasn’t smoking. As the temperature skyrocketed, I realized that I must have spread some residue from the bear spray can onto my fingers, which I then transferred while relieving myself. shocked

Our can of bear spray is the 9.2 ounce UDAP Pepper-power Bear Deterrent. The contents are 2% capsaicin and related capsaicinoids, some pretty hot stuff if it can stop a Grizzly. We’ve hiked with a can on all our Rockies backpacks since we got caught (without it)in a brown-bear standoff in Canada’s Kootenay Nat’l Park a decade ago, yet never had to use it. Since we were air-hiking back then, we always bought one on arrival (having to register in Canada when buying it) and left it with the rangers or a fellow hiker when we left. Now that we’re in Denver, we’ve kept a can with our overnight bp’ing gear – and we had never had a problem with it, although I must admit that we haven’t practiced or “shot off” one ever.

But back to the story: Debbie hadn’t stirred since my whole ordeal began, and I wasn’t about to wake her. It was the first night in her new Big Agnes bag and Neo-air pad; she said later she’s never slept better in the wild.

So I laid there in my bag stifling a scream and trying to think this thing out, all the while repeating the lyric in my head of rockabilly-great Jerry Lee Lewis: “Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!”

It just kept getting hotter and hotter. Like "treading water" -- in a pool of flowing lava. I figured out I must have got spray residue on my underwear so I shed them. I unzipped my bag and tried fanning myself with it. But I fell into that burning ring of fire, and them flames – well they just got higher.

I realized what a foolhardy sailor must have felt like in his bunk two days after a wild shore leave. And as the dim glow of dawn filtered through the tent, I knew that I had to do something, and I figured a wet wipe might cool me off and remove any remaining residue. Only problem was I had capsaicin on my fingers and the wet wipes were literally “up a tree” outside.

So with my sleeping bag pulled off and the soles of my feet in the air on the ceiling of the Tarptent, I called over to Debbie. She woke and turned and looked at me quizzically as I said, “I need you to do something, and I’ve got a really funny story for you.”

She later said she was happy to know the story wasn’t that I had poo-pooed in my sleeping bag – there sure wasn’t anything funny about that – because that’s what it looked like with me laying there out of my bag with my feet up in the air bare-assed like a baby on a changing table. She got up and headed off to retrieve a wet-wipe packet from the food bag hanging in a distant tree.

Within 15 minutes of my wipe down, the heat and pain began to subside. I donned new underwear, zipped up my bag and began to recover my lost sleep. The thing to remember from all this is that a drop of capsaicin – of bear spray – when misapplied, can go a long, longgg way.

(I’d sure like to thank UDAP of Bozeman, MT for how that can was designed. Even when some fool mistakenly unscrews it in his tent, the pepper spray doesn’t shoot out all over the place. The container works just like a can of refrigerant for your car’s a/c system and pierces a stopper when you screw the cap/trigger on. If that can had “gone off” in the tent, they probably would have had to airlift us out of there.)
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#136156 - 07/12/10 11:53 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
wandering_daisy Offline
member

Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 2865
Loc: California
I am glad you are OK! Thanks for the story. It probably would be wise to not have any drinking water bottles that look or feel the same as the bear spray bottle. I personally do not like SIGG bottles - back in the days when I used white gas, I carried gas in such bottles - metal for gas, plastic for water.

And this also brings up a question I have always had. I wish there were somewhere we could practice using bear spray. But at $40 per spray cannister, I am not about to "practice". Given my poor performance the first time using a fire extinguisher, I worry that when I need the bear spray, I will freeze and fumble or shoot it in my face.

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#136158 - 07/13/10 01:02 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
Jimshaw Offline
member

Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 3983
Loc: Bend, Oregon
Oh man, so sorry, what an epic trip. frown

Well I guess its sort of bears 1, humans 0 because you lost the battle without firing a shot. blush Perhaps carrying this stuff is more dangerous than not? Funny we are some times saying that about guns, axes and Bowie knives. I mean how many people have actually used this stuff to successfully defend themselves from a bear, and how many people have been injured by it? I'm betting that if it hit a tooth you might have a much worse trip, and how did you get the stuff on your hands? Had the bottle been tested so it had some residue?

I'd like to ask that again, are you safer with this stuff or without it? Were you even in Grizzly country?
Jim
p.s. can you use it to season your food?


Edited by Jimshaw (07/13/10 01:02 AM)
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#136160 - 07/13/10 01:08 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: Jimshaw]
balzaccom Online   content
member

Registered: 04/06/09
Posts: 2232
Loc: Napa, CA
Kev--that is a GREAT STORY! You should write it up and send it into a magazine.
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#136171 - 07/13/10 08:47 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
Dryer Offline

Moderator

Registered: 12/05/02
Posts: 3591
Loc: Texas
Ouch! Kev, your stoy makes me squirm!

Never underestimate the power of pepper spray. I was once showing my little pocket size pepper spray squirter to a friend when I noticed a bit of pocket lint had collected around the nozzle. I blew it off and when I inhaled, that tiny speck of lint ended up in the back of my throat. We're talking "pin head" size dust. I started hacking and tearing up, friend was laughing so hard they had to sit down. It took 10 minutes and a glass of water to get back to normal. The stuff is amazingly effective. I can only imagine what bear spray must feel like. grin
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#136178 - 07/13/10 11:05 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: Jimshaw]
kevonionia Offline
member

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 1322
Loc: Dallas, TX
Jim:

Quote:
Perhaps carrying this stuff is more dangerous than not?


Now you know the real reason I don't carry a gun while hiking! laugh laugh If I did, I'd have to Barney Fife it and keep a single bullet in my pocket. grin
_________________________
- kevon

(avatar: raptor, Lake Dillon)


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#136185 - 07/13/10 11:50 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
billstephenson Offline
Moderator

Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 3917
Loc: Ozark Mountains in SW Missouri
Originally Posted By kevonionia
Jim:

Quote:
Perhaps carrying this stuff is more dangerous than not?


Now you know the real reason I don't carry a gun while hiking! laugh laugh If I did, I'd have to Barney Fife it and keep a single bullet in my pocket. grin


You and me both! I barely trust myself with a blunt stick blush

My stepson, Chris, shot off a little can of pepper spray in his bedroom about 20 years ago. I was in the kitchen when my throat started burning. It was about 20 seconds later when he and all his adventurous friends bolted from his room. The rest of us were close behind them.

I made him and all those with him go back in and open all the windows. They only tried that once. (of course they went on to other misadventures immediately afterward)



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#136253 - 07/14/10 09:28 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
phat Offline
Moderator

Registered: 06/24/07
Posts: 4107
Loc: Alberta, Canada

Hilarious kev. glad you came through allright.

Although you should add that the warnings about such things applies to more than bear spray. I've developed a liking for glysomed foot balm while hiking - since I get pretty dry feet and a little moisture on the skin reduces the chance of blisters. Also makes my shoes smell nice due to the peppermint oil in it.

Well let's just say my usual morning drill is to put on shoes (foot balm, socks, shoes) then pants, then trundle off out of the hammock to relieve myself and continue with my morning. Let's just say that peppermint oil - while not capiscsin, has a similar ring of fire effect on certain parts of the body.

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#136274 - 07/14/10 02:05 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: phat]
billstephenson Offline
Moderator

Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 3917
Loc: Ozark Mountains in SW Missouri
Yeah, I use "Tiger Balm" on sore muscles and it too can be quite uncomfortable if mishandled eek
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#136281 - 07/14/10 02:54 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: billstephenson]
finallyME Offline
member

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 2710
Loc: Utah
Kevon, I don't think I can one-up you on that one. I have two good runners-up that are similar, but not as good. I am glad you survived.
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#136301 - 07/14/10 08:04 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
midnightsun03 Offline
member

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 2936
Loc: Alaska
Kevon...

Thank you for your story - having been on the receiving end of a brief accidental disharge of bearspray, I know you were not joking about your experience. However I must admit your writing style was so entertaining that I ended up laughing so hard that people around me at school though I was crying after having received bad news on my ipod. Sigh. Good lesson learned. Good lesson shared.

MNS
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#136385 - 07/16/10 12:27 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
Tango61 Offline
member

Registered: 12/27/05
Posts: 931
Loc: East Texas Piney Woods

Ohhhh Kev,

I laughed so hard that tears came to my eyes.

Thanks for a great story!

I'm glad you're ok.
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#136441 - 07/16/10 08:54 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
Mike1239 Offline
member

Registered: 07/13/10
Posts: 20
Well, good to know the stuff works grin I've been playing with a jalapeno and touched my eye, that was bad enough, this sounds MUCH worse.

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#136538 - 07/19/10 12:24 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: Mike1239]
finallyME Offline
member

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 2710
Loc: Utah
Originally Posted By Mike1239
Well, good to know the stuff works grin I've been playing with a jalapeno and touched my eye, that was bad enough, this sounds MUCH worse.


Now, after playing with the jalapeno, take out your contacts, and then let them stew in the solution you put your finger in, and then put them in your eye the next morning. Don't ask how I know this.
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#136556 - 07/19/10 07:27 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: finallyME]
midnightsun03 Offline
member

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 2936
Loc: Alaska
One year my brother planted some pepper plants in our yard, and then left on some adventure of his. After a while they produced these beautiful skinny green peppers, so my dad and I harvested them and brought them into the kitchen to slice and freeze. Being wholly unfamiliar with pepper varieties it didn't dawn on us that these were jalapenos until we were both standing in the kitchen with firey tears streaming down our faces, that only worsened when we rubbed our eyes so we could see. Boy, that stuff sneaks up on you!

MNS
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#136581 - 07/20/10 09:44 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: midnightsun03]
finallyME Offline
member

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 2710
Loc: Utah
I have done a few careless rubbing when cutting habeneros as well. Hopefully I won't repeat those mistakes. laugh
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#136656 - 07/22/10 10:13 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: finallyME]
kevonionia Offline
member

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 1322
Loc: Dallas, TX
Here's a slightly sicker version:

I told my boss about what I did and she probably topped me. She recently cut her finger at work slicing some French cheese, and the docs at the urgent care place (after stitching her up) told her to soak the cut periodically in hydrogen peroxide. So she did -- stuck her finger in a glass of it for the required time. Her husband comes home from work. They planned a movie that night -- first in a long time. He goes in the kitchen and sees the glass of "water" and drinks it. She realizes what he's done and calls 911 and gets poison control and they say he should be puking within the hour, which he does. He's well enuf later to go to the movie, but she can't get it out of her head that she had that nasty cut finger in that water, which spoiled what should have been a romantic evening. sick sick
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(avatar: raptor, Lake Dillon)


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#136670 - 07/23/10 11:44 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
billstephenson Offline
Moderator

Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 3917
Loc: Ozark Mountains in SW Missouri
Eeewew sick

I can't, and don't even want to try, to top that...
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#136945 - 07/29/10 04:32 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
akluvitlivit Offline
member

Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 15
Loc: Alaska
Quote:
As I lay there, it was as if someone had fired up a blowtorch and was putting the finishing touch on a dessert of crème brulee in my pants.


LOL laugh

eek

I guess that is why I try to always keep the spray in the vestibule area and the holstered gun in the tent as a dishcharge of any amount of spray would incapacitate the campers and it would be difficult to clean up the tent. I think that if a bear or criminal were to attack through the tent, spray would not be as effective because of the enclosed area, therefore rendering the defender unable to see and hardly able to breathe from the coughing and nasal drainage.

But that was a very funny story - I hope you have recovered... grin


Edited by akluvitlivit (07/29/10 09:50 PM)
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#137043 - 07/31/10 10:21 PM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
Gaucho Offline
member

Registered: 07/26/10
Posts: 31
Loc: California
LOL What a great story!! Definitely should have this published. As I reread it, random fire songs began to pop into my head. I can't help thinking of a soundtrack to your piece. You mentioned "Great Balls of Fire", and also implicitly added Cash's "Ring of Fire" in there. Might I suggest you also include The Door's "Light my fire". It would be a good mood setter for the beginning. LOL

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire


Thanks for the story

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#137197 - 08/04/10 08:45 AM Re: NEVER mistake a can of bear spray . . . [Re: kevonionia]
Cstolworthy Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 74
Loc: American Fork, Utah
Great story, I have been on the (accidental) receiving end of bear spray so I feel your pain. Luckily none of it made it into my pants, or I don't think I would have survived!

I have a pretty good story for you:
My first girlfriend used to wear contacts, her eyes would dry out pretty frequently. One night we were at the movies and her eyes were drying out, so she reached down into her bag, pulled out her eyedrops and put them in her right eye. The thing is, she had forgotten that she bought superglue earlier that day and put it in her purse. We ended up having to go to the ER and they had to do minor surgery to remove the contact from her eye.
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