You are not alone! Many folks go to an outdoor store and, at the advice of the salesperson, max out their credit cards on a bunch of heavy "bomber" gear, much of which they don't need and based on "standards" of 30 years ago which often ignore the excellent gear developed since then.
This attitude, in addition to furthering the career of the salesperson, also promotes the very dangerous idea that gear items (especially heavy ones) can substitute for the critically important skills that all backpackers need to acquire. Those skills include such things as coping with inclement weather, keeping critical gear dry, thermoregulation (regulating your body temperature during various levels of activity so you neither get too hot nor too cold), navigation skills (not just map and compass skills but developing a "feel" for the terrain and landmarks) and learning how to prevent emergencies. Most of those depend on the "gear" between your ears!
In the 1980's, with my children grown, I did a lot of backpacking, staggering through Washington's North Cascades under a 50-pound pack. That pack included gear items which were too heavy (5 pound pack, 5 pound tent, 4 1/2 pound sleeping bag), and a lot of redundant items which were unnecessary, some of which I never used during half a dozen longish trips. Some parts of those trips were downright scary because the heavy pack kept pulling me off balance. I had a number of falls, very luckily none involving injuries to anything but my dignity. After I nearly ripped apart a knee (x-c skiing, not backpacking), requiring extensive reconstructive surgery, I couldn't carry that sort of weight any more. My backpacks were limited to short overnighters (only a mile or two from the trailhead) until I found this site almost 8 years ago.
Read through the articles on
the home page of this site, left-hand column. They will give you lots of ideas on the "how."
I "lightened up" with my model the "27-pound, 7-day gear list" on the home page. My total pack weight for a week is now a bit less, but the weights in the list are an excellent goal to aim for. I take everything I need for my comfort (I'm an old lady with arthritic joints who gets cold easily, so I need more comfort than some) and safety. I have a fully enclosed tent (1 3/4 lbs.), supportive pack (a few ounces under 2 lbs.), warm 20*F sleeping bag (1 1/2 lbs.) and a nice thick cushy insulated air pad (3/4 lb.). Some of the gear items on the list in that article are not currently available, but look at the weights of the individual items rather than the brands--that will give you something to aim for. To start, concentrate on your "base weight"--the fixed weight of stuff you take on every trip--rather than full pack weight which includes the consumables (which vary by length of trip or the environment) of food, fuel, water.
Those home page articles will tell you a lot about how to lighten up, some of which won't even require new gear. IMHO, go easy on things like cutting off labels (a lot of work for something that doesn't register even 0.01 oz. on the scale, loses important information like laundry instructions and lowers the value if you decide to sell it) and shortening the toothbrush (restorative dentistry costs thousands of dollars that could be more profitably spent elsewhere--apologies to any dentists reading this!). Eliminating redundant and unused items, assessing the weight of each item and using multipurpose gear lead to more significant weight savings. So will thinking of your gear in terms of systems (shelter, sleeping, cooking, etc.) instead of as individual items. Don't consider replacing anything until you've thoroughly evaluated your current gear and looked at many possibilities. Otherwise you may make the same expensive mistakes all over again, possibly in the other direction. I'm sure that quite a bit of your current gear (with perhaps some modifications, such as leaving home the tent footprint and using lighter stakes, or trimming some unneeded gewgaws off your backpack) will work just fine as part of a lighter style. Unfortunately, there is really no way to avoid the chore of making a list of your gear that includes the weight of each item. (The first additional item you should buy is an accurate scale that weighs to the nearest 0.1 ounce.) However, such a list is multipurpose, because it acts as a check list for each future trip.
Once you've gone through that process, here are some other excellent information sources:
Mark Verber's encyclopedic website I don't necessarily agree with his recommendations, but you'll learn a lot about various gear items and how they perform. You'll also learn about a bunch of "cottage" manufacturers which is where much of the true innovative gear is found. At the end of each section, you'll find inexpensive options for each category.
Trail Cooking Using the "freezer bag cooking" method described here will save you weight in cooking gear (you only boil water, so you need only 1 pot and no cups or bowls) and fuel, and you won't have to wash any dishes except your spoon. "Sarbar," the owner and a contributor to this site, is my heroine! (Can you tell that I hate washing dishes?) Her site will also save you money as it uses a lot of ingredients that can be bought at your local grocery stores instead of from Mountain House.
Lightweight Backpacking 101 This book-length article is one of the few on that site that doesn't require paying for a subscription. Some of it goes beyond my personal comfort level, but it will give you a lot of ideas. It's another "oldie" in which the gear models mentioned may be outdated or discontinued, but it will give you lots of general ideas. The last chapter describes how you can lighten up on a low budget.
Backpackgeartest.org An excellent, objective source for thorough gear reviews.
Do note one thing--what works for one person may not work for another. We're all individuals with different comfort levels. You'll have to figure out yours through trial and error, which is why I suggest going slowly in the lightening process. It's also important from a safety standpoint to try out any new gear and to practice the skills mentioned in the first paragraph in the backyard (yours or a friend's) or while car camping (check out nearby state parks). That way, if things go wrong (and they probably will!), you can easily bail out to your warm house or car.
Individual differences are especially critical with packs and footwear. For those two, the most important things are fit, fit and fit, so the "best" item will be different for each one of us. That's why two favorite acronyms in the lightweight backpacking world are HYOH (Hike Your Own Hike) and YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).
Feel free to come back with questions after you've digested this material!