1.You will probably receive Your Mother’s Curse: “I hope you get one just like you.”

2.Your parents are not the same people who raised you; their new motto is “Grandchildren are our best revenge.”

3.You will spend the first two years of your children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk. You will spend the next eighteen years telling them to sit down and be quiet.

4.You will not make the same mistakes raising your children that your parents did raising you. You will make completely different mistakes.

5.You will understand why “Because I said so” is a reasonable and logical answer.

6.If your three-year-old smiles, extends his or her hand, and says “Smell!” – Don’t.

7.Around age ten, you will become the stupidest person in the world; about 15 years later, they’ll be amazed at how much you’ve learned.

8.At some point (usually as they enter their teens), you will understand why some animals eat their young.

9.The parents of teenage boys only need to worry about what’s on one boy’s mind.

10.Eventually, in spite of your best efforts, your kids will turn out OK.