Quote:
Now having said that Ben I'll probably still shake your hand if I ever meet you. (hee, hee)


Just shake his right hand.

OK, let me explain. In countries where they wash instead of using various absorbent products, custom dictates that you use your LEFT hand to perform personal cleansing functions. It's considered to be a real insult to offer food to someone with your left hand.

I know it's a bit difficult to get over the "Eww, gross! I'm touching my own poo!" syndrome, but I used to carry TP and then baby wipes to prevent "monkey butt" syndrome. That's 4 fewer ounces I have to carry now, I never get monkey butt, and I don't have to bury my turds very deep because there's no TP to decompose.

For those looking to join the TP-less club, here's my method:

Before the trip, get a zip-closure sandwich bag. Cut off a bottom corner - enough so that when you fill the bag with water you get a narrow stream of water. Now fold the corner over and clip it with a bobby pin.

So now you're in the boonies and gotta go. Dig your cat hole, pour some water in the baggie, do your business. Hold the baggie in your RIGHT hand and unclip the bobby pin. Wet your LEFT hand and then squeeze the bag with your RIGHT hand, directing the stream of water from the bag onto the soiled area. You don't have to squeeze hard - too much water pressure will lead to spattering! Now use your LEFT hand to continue the cleansing.

If you do this correctly, your RIGHT hand and the baggie remains clean. A little soap and water will clean up the LEFT one, although in my experience the LEFT remains quite clean provided that you wet it before touching yourself. I've never had a problem with poop under the fingernails, but if it bothers you, use a latex/nitrile glove.

The added benefits are that your derrier will never become sore - even if you have a bad case of the squirts and it's your fifth time today - and you can say good-bye to the "sticky/messy poop" that would have consumed nearly your entire roll of TP to clean up.