1) I use a windpro MSR stove and that works fine. When I go ultralite I use a homemade Esbit stove and that works fine too.
2) I certainly do not add milk. I used to add a teaspoon of oil, but I don't any longer. I sometimes add some of my DIY dehydrated vegetables.
3) I use only one half package at most and with a bagel that is plenty for me for dinner.
I make it a bit thin (more water) or soup-like for some reason.
4) I use a stainless steel pot of 20 ounce capacity that weighs 3.5 ounces, and has a one ounce lid. My friend purchased one each for our 4 man hiking group and we have never found anything better or lighter for the capacity.
Comment; Trying it at home is good. the proportion you will take per meal is critical. I look at the Knoll packages and top Ramon with some good supplements and spices added. I think they are GREAT!