One more pair of Montrail Hardrock trail runners, and I'll have to go through this, too!

Tell the bozos at REI that hiking in the store (which I presume you do) is a lot different from hiking on the trail! You could take a pack to the store and hike around for an hour or two--but that's still not a perfect test!

I have ended up getting my shoes from intenet sellers like Zappos and Shoes.com, which pay free shipping both ways, and let you return until you are satisfied. Only caveat is that you have to try them indoors and keep them clean--which eliminates the trail test. And it helps to know what you're getting, also hard when shopping online.
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May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view--E. Abbey