Samoset,
Try Zenstoves.net for ideas, if you haven't already. I use a Snow Peak 700, so I understand the problems that you are having. The last stove I tried was the V8 penny, with three jets spaced out around the edges (on the inside of the ridge pointed towards the center of the pot) and two jets in the center for filling. The jets were 1/16" in size. I found that with a windscreen/stand combo it worked well. However, I after using it in the field, I think I would better appreciate a cat stove type without a need to pull stakes out of my bag in order to cook. Generally I always cook at camp, but on my last trip I stopped to eat then kept walking after dinner. It would have been nicer to go without the digging for stakes. I have a tomato paste can that should be small enough to not send too many flames up the sides. We'll see how it goes. I'm guessing that the number of holes will be a major factor here.
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I always forget and make it more complicated than it needs to be...it's just walking.